kitteh sleepy

Freefalling down the rabbithole

Livejournal, come on.
CoH bombardess smackyou sneer
Originally posted by maiaarts at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by cupcake_goth at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by maschalismos at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by kita0610 at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by boosette at Livejournal, come on.
Point of reference, this is IMO something I think is worth getting upset over, rather than silly design changes.

Originally posted by marguerite_26 at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by jennybliss at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by tralfamadore at Livejournal, come on.
Originally posted by zeitgeistic at Livejournal, come on.
Alright, I am not drunk enough to deal with this, so I'm just going to put out this PSA:

Livejournal Scrapbook is going away. Your 10GB of Paid Member space is now 2GB. If you care, there is an explanation in Russian on the Russian news page. There's also a user-submitted translation.

+ You will no longer have access to your Scrapbook once this goes live.
+ Your images will redirect, but the URL will be different.
+ Unable to tell what will happen to any photos you have that put you over the 2GB limit.
+ Back up your Scrapbook just in case.
+ If you want your photos transferred over now instead of waiting, let them know here.

I'm *coughsniffsneeeze* alive...
kitteh sleepy
So, Swancon has been and gone for another year, and yet again I have come down with ConCrud™.

It was a great Con, even though I got stomped repeatedly in M:tG by Brandon Sanderson (who made a pretty good guest.) My consolation is that he beat everyone else he played against as well, taking out the draft tournament that ate my Sunday 12-0.

As usual, went to only a few panels, despite planning on going to a bunch more. Cons, they are full of the distracting.

This also means I haven't been paying attention to the internets much over the past 7 days or so, so if I've missed anything of import, please let me know in the comments. ;)

And now, I start my ~2.5 weeks of leave. (Once I actually get over this damn lurgy.)

For Science!*
Ami Geek
I walked into my room this afternoon, and found Dervish, our FluffyCat contentedly curled up on my bed in a beam of sunlight.

Of course, I immediately had to lie down and cuddle with her.

Below lies the results of my ponderings as I lay face-down on the bed with a purry-fluffy-kneading kittie curled up against my head with a sunbeam on us both. (Edited to remove all the *yawn!*s and assorted non-scientific** parts of my mental monologue.)

What is it with sunbeams, cats and Sleepyons*** anyhow?

Sleepyons are obviously high-energy particles, 'cause there doesn't seem to be any way of shielding against them. High-energy and sleepyons sounds kinda contradictory though.

Oh, that could be it. They are high energy *because* they drain all of the energy out of the observer! That's why you want to fall down and just lie in the sunbeam, duh!

Glass seems to intensify the magnitude/number of sleepyons in any given sunbeam. Some sort of lensing effect, or could it be that sleepyons are slowed by passing through the glass? That would explain the heightened energy-draining effects. Sleepyons need to get back up to speed after being slowed by the glass.

And then there's the interaction between Kittyons**** and Sleepyons. How does that one work?

More to follow as the inspiration arrives. Feel free to point out appropriately silly clarifications or logical fallacies in this, folks.

(*) No actual science was involved in the making of this post.

(**) No, seriously no science involved at all.

(***) 'Cause Napions/Nappyons really didn't sound right.

(****) Cause Cat-ions cannot be negative ions, naturally.

(*****) Just how do you get the citations thing in HMTL anyhow?

A pleasant awakening...
kitteh sleepy
...this wasn't.

Roughly 3 this (Sunday) morning the house alarm* went off.

Just what set it off I'll never know, 'cause the first thing I recall is skidding to a stop in front of the alarm panel and reaching to turn it off.**

Given my bedroom is halfway across the house and around two 90 degree turns, it's nice to know I still have some of my crisis response reflexes, even if it has been pretty much 20 years since I was in the Reserves.

Consciousness is a funny thing, no?

(*) *ow* Loud alarm is loud. Especially from thoroughly asleep and inside the house.

(**) It's also pleasing that I had no troubles entering or remembering*** the shutdown code under such circumstances.

(***) Struck-through as I didn't actually 'remember' the code, or even consciously act until after the alarm was off. See above.

I love living in a geek household...
2ktan dance
Got home yesterday and walked into the kitchen to find a 2 litre Erlenmeyer flask full of coffee sitting on top of a magnetic stirrer.

If you are wondering why The Housemate would be stirring 2+ litres of coffee, they've been making their own version of Black Blood of the Earth for several months now and selling on some to assorted friends and co-workers. This has led to the kitchen looking increasingly like a lab over time.

Do I mind? Hell, no!

It's raining!
2ktan dance
Was raining when I woke up at 6am this morning, rained all the way to work, and has been raining off and all up til now.

I haz a happy.


2ktan dance
I got my beta email!

Hope to see you in game sometime soonish, Sam and Stax!


The Sorcerer's Apprentice
firefly sing
Seeing as there seems to be no organised plans to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice here in Perth atm, I thought I'd see if anyone else would like to join me (preferably at Reading Belmont,) to see this film.

Session times:
Thursday 9th Sep NFT 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm
Friday 10th Sep NFT 10:15am, 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm
Saturday 11th Sep NFT 10:15am, 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm
Sunday 12th Sep NFT 10:15am, 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm
Monday 13th Sep NFT 10:15am, 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm
Tuesday 14th Sep NFT 10:15am, 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm
Wednesday 15th Sep NFT 10:15am, 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 6:30pm

Any takers?
Tags: ,

How Not To Start A Morning...
eeyore hope
By waking up Saturday morning, after a long dream about having Alzheimer's/dementia. Of course I didn't realise this fact within the dream, I was just confused and slightly disturbed by why I was losing time, location and clothing.

Once I woke up, OTOH, I was deeply disturbed, as that is exactly the sort of thing I have always been terrified of. For The Lose.

Sunday morning, I woke up from a dream involving large amounts of graphic gore, torture, slavery and other intensely fun stuff.

Why thanks ever so much, subconscious, I really appreciate the wonderful experiences you've been giving me.

Stuff-overrun error
eeyore hope
So many thoughts/experiences/so few spoons/so many distractions/so little brain...

More to come.

kitteh sleepy
There is a bunch of stuff I want to talk about or respond to, but I have no brain right now from the tired, so I'm putting this up as a reminder.

[Note to self]: re-read flist on Thursday night or Friday morning once you have brain again, I really doubt you're going to remember in the morning what you've read tonight.

*crawls off to bed*

firefly sing
Posting this for tygenco_x primarily, but I'm definitely interested in hearing what everyone else listens to, as well.

So here's a fun task; leave a playlist from your music collection in the comments, so you can see about getting me hooked on some of your favourite music.

I only rarely change my playlist, and generally only have one at a time, so it's going to be long. It's also going to be probably ~1/31/2 anime music, ~1/3 not anime but still not in English and the rest will be just songs that have significance of some sort to me.

My current standard playlist is under the cut, 'cause it's roughly a hundred songs long...

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I'm thinking it's about time to cut a few songs from this list, and add several new ones and return some old favourites to the list. A longer playlist is better, IMO.

Not at all hard to spot that I'm a sucker for shoujo anime/a shameless romantic, now, is it? ^_^

State of teh Bunny
kitteh sleepy
So, today has been a great day.

Slept in thoroughly this morning. Was planning on getting up at about 1030, but then heard the start of the rain and decided to just lie about listening to it instead. Finally woke up/got out of bed at around 1230, just in time to hear The Housemate leaving.

Walked out and had a stand in the rain for a few minutes, luxuriating in the feel, sound and smell of the rain (and the WhingyKitteh demanding crackgrass,) before grabbing a little bit of fresh blades for the fuzzballs as a treat.

Opened up the house to hear/smell the rain and let some fresh air in, caught up on DW/LJ and then got a bit of gaming done online with some NorAm friends in City.

Now it's about 5pm, and I'm debating whether to nap some more whilst listening to the rain, or watch some of the stuff I've recently gotten hold of. There's a stack of animes I haven't started on yet*, or there's all of The Shield, or I could finish off S2 of Castle or...

As for work news: I will have a new contract to sign shortly to up my hours from their current 24/week to 32/week, so no more 4-day weekends for me. I'll miss them, but I'm sure the extra day's pay will ease the blow some. ^_^

In short, I'z a HappyBunny today.

(*) Speaking of anime, I've recently watched the anime version of Gokusen, which made me want to get hold of the live action version in the hopes of it being as cool, and I watched Working!! over last weekend as well, which is a great light&fluffy slice-of-life/romance/farce, and has the most bright&boppy theme I've heard since Caramelldansen. Possibly even more so.

(Yet Another) Reason to Hate Hollywood
gil madboy
I've just finished watching the first two episodes of The Shield, and it's already painfully clear how criminally underutilised and out of place Michael Chiklis was in the gods-awful Fantastic Four movies.

Such a damn shame...

2ktan dance
So, I have the first week of August booked off for leave (and approved) so I don't have to work my birthday.

It's the first time I'll be 'on leave', rather than just 'not working at the moment', which will be a bit strange, so I'm planning on doing a bunch of stuff to make it more like a vacation.

So far my plans are pretty nebulous, and other than 'Catch up with people I don't get to see often enough*' and 'Go to the Zoo at least once**' I am out of ideas.

Non-Perth people: I only have a crappy digital camera, but if there are places/things you'd really like to see let me know and I'll see what I can do about getting pictures for you.

(*) Those of you who live in/near or will be visiting Perth at this time, consider yourselves warnednotified.

(**) The housemate renewed my Friends of the Zoo membership as my b-day present this year, so I will be going at least once over this week. I'd really prefer to go with friends, but there's no reason I can go by myself as well if there's only one day other folks can make it.

Suggestions, comments, heckling? Operators are standing by!

*logs into work phone system and starts the week*

And Death Shall Have No Dominion
A dear friend of mine had to put down her much beloved 20-year old cat today, and something about it all just utterly shattered me.

Thank you, Nacey, for sharing all your worries, pain and love over the past few months with Melma's last days. I'm sitting her literally with tears running down my face as I imagine what they are going through now, and how it brings back the loss of Chuckles like a freight train.

Speaking from experience, mostly you'll just remember the good times and the love you shared. Rest assured that some part of them does live on, beyond the pain, and the weights of the world's ills. I even see both Chuckles and his partner Sabrina occasionally in my dreams. They are happy, content and together. I'm sure that Melma will visit you again someday.

I gotta be honest though. Sometimes it won't be enough, and even with all the wonderful memories and knowledge that they still live on somewhere, somehow, and the years of blessings I had, right now I can barely see through my tears and I'm sobbing.

But I wouldn't change a thing. As much as it hurts right now, we will be strong enough to pick ourselves up and move on. We are never alone, no matter how hard it is to remember this sometimes.

Tonight, however, I'm going to allow myself to feel this grief, for Nacey, Melma, Chuckles, Sabrina and all of us who had their beloveds pass on. Who they were and what they gave us can never be taken away, even though they themselves are gone. Sometimes that just can't be enough, so I'm allowing myself to grieve.

And this too, shall pass.

Women in SF meme
Ami Geek
Bold the women by whom you own books
Italicize those by whom you've read something (short stories count)
* Star those you don't recognize

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There's several names on this list that feel vaguely familiar but I can't place them. Such is the way of the Meat, sadly.
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Quick update
kitteh sleepy
So, after being all Captain Emo last Thursday the rest of my weekend was made of awesome.

Friday I went to the Zoo with a friend I don't see often enough. There were Otter-n-Ghost Bats-n-Galapagos Tortoise-n-Cheetah-n-Green Tree Frogs-n-Northern Quoll-n-F***ing Big Saltwater Crocodile and good companionship. Then some shopping, and finally got that haircut/goatee trim I've been wanting for at least 6 weeks.

Saturday I went to the state art gallery with another dear friend and saw the Year 12Perspectives exhibition, followed by the rest of the Art Gallery, with good companionship some really good art, and some disturbing but very highly skilled artwork. Being the art gallery there was also stuff that IMHO was heavily overly endowed with Art Theory Wank™, but that sort of thing is part of why I don't go often. My blue-collar upbringing and science/math bent shows here, 'cause I have basically no patience for Art Theory Wank™. It's a weakness, I know, and it's not rational, but I have more important things to worry about, so to hell with it.

Sunday I went to a third dear friend's place for tea/coffee/good eats/fun chat, which was all around great to see folks and catch up. Awesome conversations were had and different viewpoints were exposed to me and I Thought About Things, so it was made of Win!.

Monday was back at work, Tuesday was more work plus monthly drinks at the bookshop, which was great, but the trial of a different place for food will definitely not be repeated. Cafe had FAIL, but companionship and conversations were great, so that was all cool.

Wednesday was work again,now with extra tired, and also a chat with my manager about more hours, which was encouraging and manager was very helpful and sympathetic when I talked about chronic pain (after she got over the *wince!* bit,) and she had suggestions for how to go about getting me more hours, made me feel appreciated and helped, and stated that she's happy for me to pick up overtime whenever there is some available. As such, I will be heading into the office on Sunday for an extra 8 hours, which will help. Also helping is the fact that yesterday marked the opening of the extended hours supermarket downstairs in our building, which will make life easier for everyone except the poor supermarket staff. (7am-10pm, 7 days, literally downstairs from an ISP? You poor, poor creatures.)

Then I slept in all morning today, read through the several pages of LJ backlog I had, and I think I'm going to go back to bed for a while now and rest/listen to the wind&rain and generally have a very pleasant, relaxing winter's day.

I have to do some vacuuming later, and I'm hopefully going to the Zoo again tomorrow with another friend. Saturday will be some gaming for sure, and hopefully catching up with my online friends. Sunday through Wednesday is work again, and no plans yet for next 'weekend'.

Now, bad to bed/snooze. *waves*

The Lurgy Strikes Back...
kitteh sleepy
Still not kingdead, still sick, though.

Went to see my GP yesterday, managed to talk him out of listing me unfit for work until Wednesday, but had to settle for two days off of work. Which, as it happens, is a good thing.

Whilst I'm not ZOMGILL!!!1! any more (that would be Sunday,) I am still ill, and I still have barely any voice. I woke up this afternoon at around 1pm-ish, pinned down by both kitties again.

I suspect that had less to do with my ongoing illness than the fact that there was a bright beam of sunlight streaming across my bed, though. ;)

Planning on going back to work tomorrow, voice or not, as 1) I really need the $$$, and 2) I spoke with my manager yesterday and basically arranged to not take calls if needed. So far, new manager is not bad at all. I just hope I have some sick leave accrued 'cause the very last thing I need right now is to have less pay coming in at the end of this week.

In other, also less-than-wonderful news, it seems that after a wonderful six months or so without any real appearances from my chronic pain, it's starting to make itself known again. Despite the fact that I have not missed any medication, which is disquieting to say the least. Especially since I'm already on the highest therapeutic dosage of my current medication, which means that the next thing to try would be changing over to gabapentin, which is a tad more difficult to obtain. For values of 'more difficult' that include 'only available via hospital dispensary', or so I have been informed.

On the bright side, even when it is making an appearance lately it's much milder than it used to be, and I did get at least six months free of it as well. Worries about the future of this issue can wait for the future.

Hope all y'all are having great times, and those of you who aren't get extra love and hugs.


kitteh sleepy
Bunny, your life-force is running out! Elf shot the food!

I has The Dreaded Lurgy™. =[

Felt increasingly awful yesterday/last night, dry cough that would not go away, even after taking a cough suppressant.

Woke up this morning, felt even worse. Now my dry coughs no longer feel like sandpapering my throat, but rather like a handful of razorblades. Also really feeling the cold, despite a warm pair of track-pants, flannel shirt, sheepskin slippers and fingerless gloves. I think I may have to go and get out my thermal underwear as well. This despite the fact that I've opened up the house and turned the fan on to bring in warm air from outside.

This place? Great insulation, which is excellent in Summer, as it really keeps the heat out if you keep it closed up. In Winter? It really keeps the heat out. :p

I suspect that my voice is gone as well, but with only the kitties in the house, who can say?

I hope I can get through this today and tomorrow, as I so don't want to have to take more sick leave when I'm trying to get work to increase my hours so I can have a survivable income.

firefly sing
So, something that's been slowly building in my head pretty much ever since I started working out of the Subi office is this:

Would anyone care to join me in visiting this show at the Art Gallery sometime before the end of the month/exhibition?

I've been thoroughly impressed by the HUGE poster* they have up on the wall outside the gallery which I see on my way to work in the mornings, and thought it'd make a nice excursion with some of the awesome people I know that live in or around Perth. (Not to be confused with the awesome people I know on the internets, but I doubt you folks could make it before the exhibition ends.)

Obviously, Thursday-Sunday works best for myself, given I work Monday through Wednesday currently, but are there any other takers, and if so, when works best for you folks?

CallComment now! Operators are standing by!

(*) I look at it while I'm waiting at the city station for my train to Subi, if that gives you some idea of how large this thing is.

Apropos of nothing in particular...
firefly sing
Check this out:

Because everything can be improved by adding an indeterminate number of stoats. ^_^

kitteh sleepy
Been wanting/meaning to post an update for a while now, but I never seem to have the brainz/time/words all together at once.

Home from work for the week, finally. So tired, things not going well at work, but I have a double weekend starting now, an Iron Man 2 screening to go to tomorrow night, and ZOMFG-teh-ky00t! kitties here to snuggle up with.

Plus it's a full moon and a clear night, so I should get plenty of moonlight tonight as well as plenty of kittysnuggles.

I'm gonna call that a win and quit whilst I'm aheadnot horribly, horribly behind.

Much love to all the awesome people I know, whether they live close enough to catch up with in person or live entirely on the internet. "Remember, thou are mortal." (And awesome!)

*forces self to eat something and then crawls off to bed*

Anzac Day
So, the above mentioned memorial day is only 7 days away now. I know Mr AS and Mr PS are interested in maintaining our annual visit to the Dawn Service at Belmont RSL, (followed by breakfast at the McD's a block down the road,) but is does anyone* else feel like joining us?

(*) Of course, you'd have to be in Perth to do this, but if you are going to be in the area next Sunday morning, there's always room for more folks to come along.

Quick and probably incoherent update
kitteh sleepy
Nearly total lack of mental spoons tonight, and not much higher on the physical side, so this will be a long, ramble-y and scattered post.

So, still exhausted/run down and not in the best of places health/mental health/jobs wise.

Felt awful on Sunday, much better Monday, not so hot Monday night* or Tuesday, and downright liken unto a tepid wet flannel tonight.

Meant/wanted to post yesterday about Yom HaShoah/Holocaust Remembrance Day yesterday, but also wanted to post about something bright and happy, and between the dissonance of those two and the generally very low levels of mental spoons lately, ended up just spending the evening finishing off season three of Eureka instead.

Eureka is awesome. Really looking forward to season 4.

The Housemate is also awesome, being home early sick, but still able to make lovely Chicken Salad for dinner. *noms*

Had Serious Chat with manager at work, things will be changing, one way or another. Could be good, could be bad, but at least it'll be change, so I'm gonna call this a win despite the grim parts. Need more hours, probably not going to get them at least in the short term, but right now I desperately need the recovery time so I just can't bring myself to care.

Wanted to post rant over weekend about mail out from federal conservative senator, purely and blatantly "they r all suck and we r all AWESOME!!!1!" pre-election propaganda, then compare it to another mail-out I got from another politician on Anzac Day that is pretty much made of Win!

Also wanted to do usual "Anyone want to join me at the annual Anzac Day Dawn service?" post, but no brainz for Bunny.

Adoring cold/grey/rainy weather. Monday so grey and rainy I didn't even take my sunglasses out of my bag at all, which for folks who know me RL is Notable Event. Rain, wind and clouds balm to my soul and outlook, so glad Winter is finally here. Sniffles also glad at arrival of officially declared Winter, as it means her heatpad comes out in evenings, much to her adoration. Poor kitty, her knee doesn't like the wet and cold at all, but heatpad is acceptable consolation.

Realisation: Mental fog like this make me loquacious/verbose. -_-

Gah, too tired to finish second helping of awesome Chicken Salad of awesomeness. Shall stagger off to bed before it becomes a crawl off to bed. Must remember: feed kitties and take evening dose of medication first.

G'night/Good day to all y'all, and *loves* for the lot of you.

Yes, even you. *points*

(*) Having to sleep propped up on triangular pillow due to efforts of Mukor the Slime God™ was Not Fun. Waking up sometime between 2 and 3 am with said pillow damp with sweat was even less so, but at least I was sufficiently tired to just collapse back to sleep after a quick visit to the toilet.

An update
firefly sing
I've been meaning to post since (literally) the end of March, about how life, work and t'other stuff has been going lately. Sadly, I've been too busy (Easter/Swancon), too run down, or too low on spoons to do much.

However, since some of you have poked me about it and since today is the last day before I go back to work again, here's somewhat of a post about Stuff™.

Work: Continues to suck, because of the ZOMGstupid! levels of how far behind we are, how under-staffed/under-resourced we are, and lack of training available, 'cause Hey, we're too busy to train you properly!' Also, as some of my ever-so-cool friends helped me verbalise/consciously realise over Swancon, a big part of the problem is that I'm doing less direct helping of people and more administration/'paper'-work-y stuff. Thus I don't get anything like the same sense of satisfaction that I got in Support, where people (mostly customers) were constantly coming to me with problems, which I would think about and then (mostly) fix for them. This would hit a whole bunch of my buttons, as I love solving puzzles, I love helping people, and hoo, boy, do I ever adore people asking me for help and/or advice. Provisioning just isn't ever going to give me nearly as much buzz as Support did/does. This Is A Problem, and one I have to think seriously about as, career-wise, I'm in the midst of a thicket of raspberries, as it were.

Swancon: Run down generally, not sleeping especially well, and really missing that boost of energy/bonus spoons I got from loving my job. This means I went through most of Swancon in a daze, having to take a nap on at least two of the days, and thus I didn't get the bonus spoons from Swancon that I normally get, either. The fact that I had no investment in any of the guests this year probably didn't help any. Not that they were bad guests, 'cause they all are/seemed nice/cool folks. And I got a free* book out of it, personalised/signed by the author. (Note, I actually got a copy of the trade (large) paperback, but despite it being the UK edition, it seems Amazon UK doesn't list that edition. Covers right, though.)

Health: As noted above, have been feeling the stress/contrast of being in a job that I don't adore and aren't especially good at, really hard. This has had no small effect on my physical and emotional health. Exacerbated by the fact that I've had little time/chance to catch up with friends, RL and online, but especially RL. (Including The Housemate, who is ZOMG-insanely busy. As in, working full time, studying post-grad part time, and was also an important part of the committee for Swancon, poor thing.) Forgetting to take my lunchtime pills on the Friday of the Con certainly didn't help matters any, either.

I managed to avoid getting ConCrud, but The Housemate's Boy didn't, it seems, and now he's infected me, so I'm sitting here with a head cold at the end of my 11 days off from work. >.<;

Okay, I was going to write more, but this is already kinda longish, so I'll merely mention that I was going to make a post about how people perceive others, and me in particular, and thus have a reminder to prod me into posting about it later, when I am not out of spoons again. *blarg*

(*) Seriously, folks, all of those in the crowd waiting to get into the Con closing ceremony have major Trivia Fail. 100+ geeks at a SF/F con, and none of you can answer the question: "What gas do they mine at Cloud City on Bespin?" faster than I can? I had to think about it for a couple of minutes, 'cause I'm not a huge Star Wars geek, and in that time at least 4 people answered wrongly! I mean, I can fully understand not knowing what Tybana gas is used for in the SW universe, as it's kinda an obscure fact**, but not knowing what it's called? Shame! ;)

At least some people could answer the other two questions: "Which author first published Mercedes Lackey?" and "What was James Tiptree Jr's real name?"

(**) AFAIK, it's mentioned in passing in one of the novels, which means you do have to be a Trivia Freak like myself, or a hardcore SW fan to know that one.

Spreading the word
Helping to spread the word for damn good cause.

Support rape crisis centers and enter to win an Advance Copy of Red Hood’s Revenge, by Jim C. Hines.

Because one person in a thousand is far too many.

Meanderings and maunderings
Ami Geek
Just a quick update on my life around this moment.

Work is continuing to improve as I get more and more knowledgeable and confidant in the new role. ^_^

My manager, however, has stated that he will not increase me hours from the current 24/wk, due to excessive sick leave issues that relate to the chronic pain. I responded with the fact that (until last Monday,) I had not had a day off since October, and that the current level of hours was flatly not survivable for me. (This is sadly, all too true.) He said he'd think about it and consult with HR. I'm left feeling less than hopeful. v_v

Swancon is this coming weekend! ^_^

Gah! It's this coming weekend, and I have a loan payment coming out tomorrow, then I have to get through to the Friday after the Con with just what I have in the bank now, minus loan payment. v_v

Bookshop monthly drinks are this Tuesday. ^_^

See $$$ issues above. v_v

I'll be sleeping at home each night, to avoid the cost and troubles of sharing a hotel room with anyone. And someone needs to feed the kitties anyhow. ^_^

Of course, this means I'll be using a whole lot of fuel. At least I filled up last night. ^_^

Of course, it cost me almost $50 to fill the tank. $1.29/litre? I remember when I first started driving the going price was around $0.55-0.58/litre. v_v

Yeah, that was 20 years ago. !_!

It's been 20 years already?!? ?.?

My online game of choice has some really nifty new stuff coming out soon, and I got the invite to the closed beta yesterday. ^_^

I didn't get the email until this evening, and it's taken 90 minutes to download the new data, and looks like it's going to take at least another couple of hours to fix all the changed files. No new shinies for me tonight. v_v

My hours (what I'm getting) has been regularised. For the next month I work the same hours on the same days. ^_^

Of course, these new regular hours are 8am to 4:30pm, Monday - Wednesday, so I have to be at my desk and logged into the phones by 8am. Ick. I am so not a morning person. v_v

This does not count over Easter, when the confluence of the annual leave I have booked over Easter and my new hours means I get 2 weeks off for the price of one, basically. ^_^

I've been watching some interesting films lately. I saw Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths last week, and really enjoyed it, despite the occasional issues it has. ^_^

This lead me to obtain and watch Justice League: The New Frontier as well. It had an overall better executed story and lacked the tacked-on-crappy-side-plot that Crisis had, but the voice acting on New Frontier was merely adequate, for the most part. Whilst Crisis had a bunch of really good performances*, and obviously had someone that not only knew the difference between acting and voice-acting, but *cared* as well.

Which is odd, given the voice casting was done by the same person. *shrug*

Also, the origin and general characterisation of Hal Jordan/Green Lantern in New Frontier was truly outstanding, and Barry Allen/The Flash also got some really good screen time. ^_^

This leaves me feeling both hopeful and apprehensive about the upcoming Green Lantern movie. I *really* hope they don't stuff it up. I've always loved the whole mythology of Hal, John, Kyle, Guy and the Green Lantern Corps. The only comic group that lies closer to my heart is the Legion of Super Heroes, I confess.

Why, yes, I am a complete nerd sometimes, why do you ask? ^_^

And now, it is almost 10pm, so since I need to get up in 8 hours time, I need to go make the bed, shower and go to sleep, so I can be at my desk and mostly awake for my 8am start. ;>.>

(*) Particularly Owlman, Batman and Super Woman, but they were all quiet good. Really, if you are a comics/supers or DC fan, watch these, they are well worth the time.

PPS: It occurs to me I need a good Green Lantern icon rather badly. Especially one that uses at least part of the GLC oath...

Serenity, I has it.
firefly sing
So, following up on the miserable state I was in on Wednesday night, I had some chats with assorted dear friends, and came out of it with some potential paths, and a reminder that I don't have to do things all by myself. There are others out there, and I can both ask for help and receive it.

I still have to work on being more open about all sorts of things, but I am doings so.

So in the space of 24 hours I went from despairing to serene, thanks to some special friends.

Back to work today, and I'm holding into that sense of serenity, 'cause I'm going to need it once I get to work.

*loves to you all*

A cheerful start to the morning
2ktan dance
So, here I sit at my computer, slowly waking up and drinking my morning vitamins.

And suddenly there is an explosion of chirping outside the side door. I wander over to find out what the deal is, and find the the bottlebrush tree just t'other side of the fence is filled with a swarm of New Hollands feeding, chatting and zooming about in that way that only nectar feeders can manage. There seemed to be somewhere between 20 and 30 of the critters there based on the noise and movement, but it was probably more like 10 or so.

So adorable.

And bonus cuteness was the kitties, both intently gazing out the glass at the swarm, and not quite drooling. Silly kitties. The only way they'd ever catch a New Holland would be for it to fly into their mouth. ^_^

(And I needed this pickup, 'cause I am so not looking forward to work this week. I might post more about that tonight.)

The black dog...
firefly sing
naamah_darling posted an awesome, intelligent, insightful and remarkably calm post deconstructing some of the most shockingly dense comment-fail I have ever seen. Go here to read it's entire awesomeness, but I'm going to post some of my experiences here on the topic, as inspired by the above-linked post.

..why depressed people may not seek treatment.

Sometimes they do not know how to ask for help.

This applies to me. I had no idea how to even tell anyone how much I was suffering. When I finally went to my GP and said "I think I need to be on some anti-depressants" I'd already had vivid and intrusive thoughts of self-harm for months. It was only because I knew I wouldn't be able to resist the urges for much longer that gave me the impetus to seek help.

And that was only the most obvious, most immediately worrisome symptom.

Sometimes, as incredible as it is to say, people don't know they are depressed.

This also strongly applies to me. As one wise and dear friend puts it*, depression is a lot like being a frog in a saucepan. The temperature has been creeping up for so long you've never noticed it, and now you're just about at a rolling boil. of course, by this time it's a major issue, and has deeply embedded it's (barbed) hooks into your life and your psyche. Getting them out is not simple, quick, easy or painless. And it's an easy trap to fall back into without noticing, because being constantly vigilant of your own mental state is seriously draining, tiresome, and just plain bloody hard. And it's always so very, very, easy to let it slide, just this one time...

Sometimes they simply feel hopeless.

For me, at least, hope and volition are the first things that get drained away. just a tiny, tiny bit at a time, but that drain happens every moment that you aren't paying attention to stopping it. It settles itself over your shoulders while you sleep, when your attention is focussed on other things, and slowly it weighs you down, until it's all you can do to stand.

They may simply not be experienced at talking about their feelings, and such things may be difficult for them to articulate.

This has always been an issue for me. My subconscious is great at pondering things for a while and then pointing me in the direction it's decided I should go, but it's always been very unforthcoming about why. It's beyond taciturn and well into recalcitrant on the topic of actually sharing *why* it's made it's decisions. Most often, I have to throw questions surrounding the issue at it and then try to dowse the reasons from the varied tones of it's surly silences.

Some are afraid of placing a burden on their loved ones, or on a system that they believe is there to help other people, people with "real" illnesses, or people who might be more ill than they are.

And the irony of this attitude is that it quite possibly have saved my life. At my very lowest ebb, when I came closest to actually committing suicide, the tiny, fragile thread that stopped me was this sort of thing. I was a cobweb's thickness away from climbing a tall building and throwing myself off, but the thought of some poor bastard having to clean up the mess was what held me back. Hardly what you'd want to stake your life on, is it?

Those who seek treatment often find that it does not provide an immediate end to their suffering.

Here's something no depressed person wants to hear: even the best treatment in the world won't solve the problem quickly and easily. It's going to be a long, hard and painful slog regardless. It's going to feel like a Sisyphean task even under the best of conditions.

Because it is. Every day you have to push that stone up the slope. Some days it might feel like a the slope is almost vertical, some days it may feel horizontal, but it will always be there. And you have to somehow maintain the rest of your life as well.

The wrong drug can very easily make an unstable mental state worse;

The terrible truth of depression is that sometimes even the right treatment can kill you. Sometimes the sheer crushing weight of it is all that stops someone from having the agency to actually end it all. And sometimes the treatment only manages to improve things enough to supply that very agency. And that's a very bitter irony indeed.

(*) I've mangled their original metaphor to make it clearer to those that weren't in on the original context. Rest assured, it was a much more elegant thing to start with.

Well, that was a brief interlude
firefly sing
After months of waiting, and waiting, and waiting, I finally got to work from home.

For all of 3 weeks.

Today, I start working in a different department, in the Subiaco office.

Still, something new to learn, much less time on the phones, and hey, can't work in Technical Support forever. Best to get out now, before I hate it and everyone that calls, I think. I'm definitely going to miss the transit times and relaxed dress code of WFH, though. ^_^

Fandom, community and consequences.
There's been a lot of discussion lately, online and in person, about how accepting Perth/Swancon fandom has been over the years, and how's that not always a good thing. Traditionally we have sometimes been too accepting, and let people get away with behaviour that ranged from skirting the line to blatantly and utterly unacceptable.

And we've let it slide.

We've made excuses, told ourselves it wasn't what it looked like, that it was 'just a little failure in communication', or 'if they really had a problem they'd make it clear'.

We've looked the other way, for a long time. Because we didn't want to cause a fuss, or intrude into other peoples' private lives, we didn't know either of them well enough to intervene. Because we didn't want to think that badly of them. Or we just didn't want to think about the less pleasant parts of life at all, so we just ignored it.

And in doing so, we've made it easier for the (multiple!) people who are deliberately and repeatedly acting unacceptably to get away with it. They know they can count on us to ignore it, sweep it under the rug, or, gods forgive us, to attack the victims for trying to speak up, for having the utter gall to attempt speak the truth about their experiences. "How dare they ask for justice?" "What makes them think that they are so special that they should make us uncomfortable by asking us to examine our own complicity?"

We've all done it, and I am no more innocent of this than the rest of the community. Hell, I'm certain there have been times where I have benefited from this code of silence, when I was skirting or crossing the line, and nobody would call me on it.

It's time we stopped all of this. It's well past time we actually looked towards the safety of those most vulnerable and not just to our own comfort.

I don't know how we are going to do this, it's certainly not a small or easy task.

But I, for one, can't bring myself to stand by and let us all destroy the wonderful community we have here in Perth fandom, simply to avoid some difficult conversations and harder decisions.

We need to be better than we have been. It breaks my heart to think that this wonderful community we have could be destroyed purely because we weren't willing to do the hard work of actually trying to make it as safe, fun and accepting as we like to pretend it is.

See also: for more context, and saying it better than I've managed.

New filter for DW and LJ posts
I've been pondering for a while creating a new, more tightly filtered group and posting smaller updates more often. Several people I know have something similar and I'm always interested in hearing more about what's happening than just what's 'socially acceptable', and impressed by the courage of those who do share such intimate details.*

I've finally been given the impetus to actually set it up and post asking if anyone wants to be on this filter. I'm calling it TMI, and it's likely to have all sorts of topics, ranging from my chronic pain issues, through depression, other physical and mental health stuff, the weird and not always so wonderful goings on in my head, through to general things I want to post about but don't think everyone would want to read.

This is the sign-up post. If you think you may want to read this stuff, leave a comment and I'll add you.

Note: All comments will be screened, for privacies sake.

(*) And, really, a big part of why I didn't do it sooner is the little voice in my head that always whispers "Nobody cares, no-one wants to know you" and I'm more than a little tired of that shit.

Ami Geek
A short while ago, cheshirenoir buzzed* so:

Does anyone else find this tune creepy? (Тетяна Ціхоцька "Щедрик" \ Tetyana Tsikhotska Shedryk)** Ukrainian folk song converted into western Christmas Carol

To which I reply:

Ya think? (Carol of the Old Ones Sing-Along)** =]

Although I do find the Ukrainian video disturbing in that it comes across as your typical "Isn't Xmas wonderful and make everyone merry? *BE MERRY OR ELSE!*" message, except that it's a slightly alien culture I know basically nothing about.

(*) I think, overall, that Buzz™ is kinda pointless (like Twitter,) and/or a bit too late. ('Cause Twitter/Facebook got there first.) If I want to do the sorts of things Google Buzz™ does, I'll use Facebook. For myself, I find the signal-to-noise ratio for Twitter distinctly not to my liking. I know a bunch of people that do use it frequently, and good luck to them, I just don't feel the need myself. As such, I have no particular problem with auto following people based on GMail contact, but I'm certainly not going to create a Buzz™ account myself. I'll occasionally look over the Buzz™ list in my GMail account, but I like that it's easy to ignore there.

Also, I think that Google has seriously shot themselves in the foot with the way they've released Buzz™, linking it with Google accounts, whether you want it or not, and not making it especially clear how (or if!,) you can get rid of it.

Late, intrusive and clumsy, very poor form, Google. I'm deeply disappointed in you.

(**) I choose to only paste links here, rather than embedding the vids, as I don't want to put a cut before them, but I also don't want to risk stuffing up FList formatting for anyone.

kitteh sleepy
Gah, according to my weather widget, it's officially 40C/102F outside at the moment, feels like 42C/107F.

And the desktop thermometer claims it's currently ~35C/95F indoors, although I am still undecided as to just how accurate that is.

It's just too damn hot.

I think I'll give the computer a break, go have a bowl of ice cream and either read a bit or take a nap. (And spend some time with at least one of the kittehs, of course.)

And there's at least another 3 months or so of this sort of weather before more reasonable conditions return. *sigh*

A State of the Bunny address
kitteh sleepy
So, last night I was so tired that I crawled into bed at 7pm and promptly fell asleep. Although I did wake up several times through the night, it was never longer than a couple of minutes, and I didn't really wake up/get up until 0930 this morning.

Now it's just after midday, and I'm already nodding off again. I'd go take a nap, but a) surely 14 hours should be enough, and b) I have an appointment to see my GP in less than three (<3) hours to discuss the little troubles I've been having with my meds lately, so it's kinda important that I make that.

In computer 'news' my gaming rig is still horrifyingly infected/infectious, and the old comp is fine for browsing/chatting, but really doesn't cut it as a gaming rig. It noticeably chugs if I try to run Diablo II without closing down Firefox/IE/pidgin, which I am loath to do. But after even a 6-hour shift on the phones, any attempt to rectify this quandary results in "Not enough manna./I need manna." Hopefully I can recover some over the weekend, or at least find a helpful shrine.[/nerd]

Speaking of the weekend, I'm finding it increasingly unlikely I'll make it to Dr SQBR's birthday on Saturday. (Note to self: TOMORROW IS FRIDAY, NOT SATURDAY, GUMBY!) Which is a shame, as I'd really like to make it, both to wish them a hippo birdy, and 'cause it'd really nice to get out of the house without going to work. *woe*

(I'm also suddenly longing for a netbook so I can sit in bed and still browse teh intarwebz, but I can't possibly justify the cost right now.)

Anyhow, hope all y'all are having an awesome time, and I think I'll now go back to sleephave some lunch.

Triple Grats!!!
2ktan dance
Happy birthday to threefour* wonderful and very different women who just happen to share a birthday:

anysia and

Hope you all have/had a grand birthday, and many more awesome ones to come!


[Edit:] And congrats on the anniversary for Doctor Who as well, with the airing of the first episode 46 years ago today. =)

[Bride of Edit:] Updated to suitably recognise the fact that there are actually four women I know in Perth with this birthday. ;>.>

(*) Amongst our weapons are fear, surprise, etc,etc.

A vast reluctance
kitteh sleepy
Well, thanks to Avast failing to catch a virus in a download despite the offending archive being explicitly and manually scanned, I was forced to re-install Windows again this morning.

In Avast's favour, it's done a better job than AVG Free did, in that the On-Access part immediately yelped when the malware started getting uppity, whereas the first I knew of the previous virus when I was running AVG Free v8 or so was when I had a pop-up telling me I was infected and helpfully offered me a link to buy some AV software. Oh, and BTW, you can't access Task manager, Safe Mode, Windows Update or anything actually useful. =P

So, one format of the boot drive and quick reinstall of Windows later, I am back online, bookmarks restored* and AV software newly installed and updated.

And now, given the increasingly insistent headache I've had for the past couple of hours, I'm going to crawl back into bed and hope one of the cats comes along to keep me company.

(*) Foxmarks FTW, I tell you.

I follow the Moskva
With the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, and the acceleration of the lifting of the Iron Curtain, the course of international relations shifted.

After 40+ years of two competing super-powers, the Cold War was coming to a sudden end, and to almost everyone's surprise, not with the long anticipated global nuclear war. Instead, peace was breaking out.

The Warsaw Pact was dissolving, Soviet communism was falling apart, and it looked like freedom and democracy had won the day.

It's rare that you can sit in front of the news and truthfully say to yourself that this is History Happening Right Now.

It's even rarer that this happens and isn't a tragedy. This day, 20 years ago, was one of those all too rare joyful moments in History. Not everything that followed was good or happy, but even now I can think back to those days in late '89, and remember to feeling of hope and change.

Oppression had lost it's grip, The People had spoken, They would not be oppressed and more, and things would Be Different.

The People were right. Things were different, though not all change is for the good.

But on the balance, looking back over the past two decades, most of the hope of those days have turned out to be justified.

I am smart! S-M-R-T!
I am such a frakkin' genius!

Despite years of practice, and two separate, different and audible alarms, I managed to forget to take my daily medication yesterday. >.<

Thus today, when I did remember to take it, it's got my head all strangified and confuzzled.

I'm seriously hoping that this wears off before tomorrow, else working the phones will be totally un-fun.

kitteh sleepy
Another day in the salt minestech support.

Monthly drinks at the bookshop was last night, which was cool, and it was great to catch up with friends. Late night though, so on top of the fact that we were slammed all day Monday and Tuesday I am seriously le tired.

Today, thankfully, is quieter, which means I finally have time to call some customers back, to confirm that their problem was/is still resolved.

And the first couple I call back are really snarky and pushy that we didn't follow up sooner. Idiots. Think we take too long to follow up? Change to a different ISP and see how long it takes them to do so. Oh, wait! Almost no other ISPs bother to do that at all! *grrs*

So, tired and really tired of putting up with entitled fools. Difficult to keep enthusiasm up today.

On the brighter side, I saw 4 ravens in a little huddle this morning on the way to work. They tried to nonchalantly saunter apart once they were spotted, but honestly, is there anything more suspicious than a nonchalant raven? (Let alone four of them.) ;)

Also, no work tomorrow, which is good, 'cause I seriously need some more sleep.

And hey, it's cake day at work today! *grabs a slice of black forest and a slice of chocolate mudcake*

Hmm, maybe I can find that enthusiasm after all. ;9

An uncomfortable epiphany
equality joss
So, a friend of mine linked to this story tonight, and it's led me to an unpleasantly closer understanding of how some people can be so hateful and violent.

'Cause what part of me *really* wants to do is hunt down the motherfuckers responsible for this atrocious miscarriage of justice, douse them with a bucket of something really flammable, light a match and then watch them burn. A more insidious part wants to add my tiny effort to seeing the people responsible named, shamed and publicly castigated for this, but that will also cause at least as much harm as they have already done. More in sorrow than wrath is the ethically and spiritually better way, here.

I'm not sure which offends me more, the judge, or the social worker? The judge does more harm because of his greater position of power, and higher media profile, but he's both a lawyer and a politician. Neither calling inspires much expectation of wisdom or compassion. The social worker though, his whole job is about helping those in need at their time of greatest trials. And he pissed all over that ideal purely because he didn't approve of what two consenting adults may have gotten up to in private.

It's not helpful, constructive or good for the world (or my own mental/spiritual well-being,) to plot revenge on these people, even as a passing fantasy. We are all better than that, my friends.

We will not stoop to the level of these sickening acts.

But ohhhh, you pathetic losers do make it tempting....

Bookish thoughts
Ami Geek
So last night I found myself totally uninterested in doing any gaming or watching TV shows/anime/movies. Instead I retired early to bed to read some more of the current eBook I was working my way through.

The Dragon Never Sleeps by Glen Cook is an interesting bit of SF.  Drops you a bit into the deep end with a very different world and just expects you to work things out as you go along. It also has a tendency to continually use invented (and slightly jarring,) jargon through to the very end of the book. A minor peeve.

That aside, the early night to bed ended up ending just after midnight when I actually finished the book, so it's not at all a bad read, and if you like Cook's work then I really recommend it.

Next up, I recently obtained the complete run ot the  Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O'Brian. All 20 books of it. I've read one of the books before and loved it, so I'm sure I will enjoy this run through. Should keep me busy for a while.

I do find myself slightly affeared, however, that this shall effect a modicum of change upon the manner of both my thoughts and my speech. But then, all good books should, should they not?



Grr. *Hate* Summer
gil madboy
The hot weather is here with a vengeance. Forecast today was for 32C (~90F), but right now it's 37C (100F).


Too damn hot.

Edit: Amazing the difference a long cool shower can make. ;)

Wordless welcome
kitteh sleepy
The warm, dusty smell of fur,
the steady shift of a flank,
arhythmic rumbling counterpoints,
I'm back home.

That was one seriously expensive burger.
So, it's been one big joy ride this past week or so.

Burgers are expensive...Collapse )

Turns out this coming weekend is a double XP weekend in my MMO of choice, starts tomorrow afternoon my time and runs until Monday afternoon. And I'm hoping I'm going to be busy working Friday and Monday. Life's funny sometimes.

*is a headless chook*

We have new phone software at work! Totally different to what we were using yesterday!

*runs about in circles aimlessly!*

Ready to work!
nerd jokes
Well, I finally got better enough that I could get the required Medical Clearance from the GP and get back to work.

After 2 1/2 weeks at home, it feels really strange to be here again. Not helped at all by there having been a total change in department management style and practices. I miss the spirit my old team had already, especially working with my old Team Leader. (Not helped at all by him giving me a small 'going-away' gift and card when I arrived today.) Still, no work, no $$$, which is a non-trivial problem.

We had such glorious weather here today. It was so windy on the way to the bus this morning I actually had to lean into it to make headway sometimes. So much so that all the birds I saw on the way in were hunkered down on the ground, waiting for it to quieten down a bit. Except for the Ravens, who seemed to be making the best of being the only things in the air. ;) Seeing them fooling about was almost as cute as seeing a Mag-Lark all huddled down on the verge. 0 =)

Also: Why do I have this damn song stuck in my head today? I had to google the lyrics just to stop going mad at tripping over a line I didn't remember. ;>.>

Health update
gil madboy
Still sick.

Was feeling much better Friday - Sunday, but this morning, woke up with a killer headache, which did not go away until ~3:30, despite taking painkillers. >.<

Went to see GP, got medical certificate for work, also got prescription for antibiotics, as Doc thinks it might be a secondary infection. Time will tell.

Med. certificate runs through to Thursday, will go see GP again on Wednesday to either get clearance that HR insist on before allowing me back to work, or discuss symptoms and treatment thereof with doc. *sigh*

That'll make it over 2 weeks off of work due to rostering and illness. Which means 2+ weeks without pay, dammit.

At least it's spread out over multiple pay fortnights.


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